I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
