Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
