Cold hands, warm shart.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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