6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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