I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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