so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
