so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
