Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
