I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
