so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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