I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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