my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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