yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
