cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
