think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
