erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
