question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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