So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
