I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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