i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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