Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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