You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
