There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
