I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
