whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
