he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
