just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
