Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
