return my video game
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
