420 ftw
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
