I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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