The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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