can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
