so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
