i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
