I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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