i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
