One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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