This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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