dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
