Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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