so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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