you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize