I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
