I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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