u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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