so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Is it because I queefed?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
