how can u be prego again
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
