3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
