Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
