Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
