He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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