I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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