I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
