I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Holy shit dude........stairs
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize