I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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