trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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